When my father started slowing down, it wasn’t one big event. It was gradual. Hospital visits stretched longer. Food lost its taste. Sleep became fragmented. He wasn’t dying but he wasn’t fully living either.
That’s the space no one prepares you for.
And that’s where palliative care belongs.
Most people think palliative care is only for the last few days. Something that steps in when nothing more can be done. A soft exit. But that’s not what it is and that’s why so many miss it altogether.
Palliative care is not about giving up. It’s about easing the weight people carry when they live with serious illness whether it’s cancer, dementia, lung disease, heart failure, or something that just won’t let the body or mind rest.
It’s about managing pain, breathlessness, confusion, sleeplessness, and all the things that wear a person down slowly. It’s about listening when no one else has the time to.
Sometimes, it means helping someone eat better or sleep through the night. Sometimes, it means helping a daughter understand what her mother is really asking for, even if the words are few. Sometimes, it’s just about presence offering comfort, clarity, and control back to people who’ve lost all three.
The biggest misunderstanding is timing. People think they have to wait. That palliative care only comes when curative treatment stops. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, it works best when it’s introduced earlier alongside treatment, not after it.
It’s not an either-or decision.
It’s a support system that can walk with you in the middle when things are unclear, overwhelming, or just plain hard.
In a country like ours, where families do most of the care, and aging often happens quietly inside homes, palliative care can make a difference. It doesn’t promise a cure but it does promise relief. And dignity. And space to breathe.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We don’t have to wait for the end to ask for care that truly sees us.
We can ask sooner. And we should.
This article has been written by:
Deepa Srinivasan
Aging & Palliative Care Researcher
